One of my favorite books is Rabbi Alan Lew’s book on
the High Holidays called This Is Real and You Are Completely
Unprepared: The Days of Awe as a Journey of Transformation. For many years
this book has helped to provide me with a wake-up call to get ready to engage
the High Holidays with the right level of intention - with Awe. I have been
working on a seven-session leadership program called Sulam for Baby Boomers, to
be launched in 2016. Sulam is the Hebrew word for ladder. Sulam suggests that there are
challenges we need to embrace at every age of development. Sulam for Baby
Boomers challenges synagogue members to reflect on their lives, re-energize their spiritual batteries and re-imagine their sense of purpose. Working on this
has been an "awesome" experience for me. As I sit at my desk surrounded by books
about Baby Boomers, I find myself preparing for the challenges of my High Holiday
reflections.
Boomer Challenges and Opportunities
Workaholic
Seeking Recovery
We Baby Boomers are well known for our
work ethic. We have harnessed our optimism to our careers and been driven to
achieve. As we retire, or transition to less prominent roles, we will be losing
some of our power, influence and status. I experienced some of this when we
sold our family business and I had to adapt to a new set of bosses. At USCJ, I have
enjoyed developing three new consulting colleagues who joined our leadership
development team last year. I have been working hard to empower them to take
the lead in their consultations. This High Holiday season, I will be working to
gain greater equanimity. I hope to know better what I should strive to change
and what I need to find the courage to accept.
Learning
to be a Passenger in My Children’s Car
We Baby Boomers have often over
functioned to ensure our children’s success. As my own children have grown, I have
had to learn to stop hovering, and to step back and let them live their own
lives. I was the kind of dad that often touched the wheel when they were
learning to drive (sorry). At 64, I now know that I need to “let go of the
wheel of the car” and get in the passenger seat. Dan and Micah are in Boca Raton, Florida and
Eli is in Columbus, Ohio (Go Bucks!). They are doing well, so I can relax a bit...but from the passenger seat I can still try to put my foot down on the imaginary brakes.
Honoring
My Parents
The parents of Baby Boomers are part of
a medical revolution that is creating much greater longevity. Baby Boomers have
had to deal with the financial and social needs of their parents. They are being
challenged to be compassionate about their parents’ physical and mental issues.
I saw my father struggle in his last year before he passed away in 2004 at age
87. As the High Holidays approach, I have some regrets. As I look back, there
were some conversations I wished I had had. Part of honoring parents is coming
to terms with memories of parents who have passed away.
For our Baby Boomer program I will be
assigning a book by Lee Kravitz called Unfinished
Business: One Man’s Extraordinary Year of Trying to Do the Right Things. After
he was laid off at the age of 55, Kravitz spent a year looking up people whom he
had allowed to slip away. He makes reconnecting with them his priority. What an
extraordinary High Holiday reading! Personally, I have tried to keep in better
contact with my mother. She lives near my sister, Laurie, at the JCC Complex in
Palo Alto. My sons, Daniel, Micah, and Eli, will be joining me to travel to
Palo Alto to celebrate my mother’s 90th birthday. Attending to our parents
provides a preview of our own aging years. I hope I can live with as much grace
as my mother.
Guarding
My Health
According to Dr. Rhonda Randall, Chief
Medical Officer for United Health Care (Medicare and Retirement), Baby Boomers
have a desire to be active and maintain their health and fitness, to stay
mentally fit, to remain engaged in their communities and to maintain a
connection to learning resources. As many of you know, I got married on June 14 to Carolyn Reinach Wolf. I don’t need Rhonda Randall to lecture me on health
and fitness. Carolyn was a former hospital risk manager. I am getting a steady
flow of helpful feedback about the risk of carbohydrates.
Self-Awareness - Getting Up on the Balcony
The Baby Boomer site “Boomer Café” is
full of articles about the “second acts”
of Boomer narratives. Through Sulam for Baby Boomers, will encourage Boomers to inhabit some reflective “balcony space” where they
can take time to re-charge their batteries. We hope they will emerge re-energized with a new sense of purpose for their second or third acts that will be expressed in
some form of community contribution. As
I take my seat in the balcony at Ansche Chesed this Rosh Hashanah, I hope to
get some more perspective on the year that has passed, and to gain new energy
for the year ahead. My work on the challenges and opportunities of my fellow
Baby Boomers has inspired me. I hope that my work with them over the coming year will help them one day be better prepared for their “ Days of Awe.”
Bob, what a wonderful summary of the journey, L'shana tova.
ReplyDeleteJeff Z