It is a mitzvah to dance at a wedding. Judaism values sharing
life’s joys together. So I traveled back to Ohio with great expectation to
celebrate a simcha. I was not disappointed.
After a beautiful ceremony the wedding party was on. We
dined. We drank. We danced. We were brought to attention when we saw that the
father of the bride was standing at the
front of open dance floor. Pride and joy filled his tuxedo. His shoulders back
and his head up, he demanded out attention.
He is the father of three daughters. A quiet, unassuming and humble man,
he grabbed the microphone with confidence and ease and began to give the
wedding speech he was born to give.
Baseball had been special for him. Growing up in the South he
had been a Braves fan. He told an endearing story of the time his daughter went
to a Braves game with him. The fans dismissed the little girl at his side until
she amazed them with her detailed account of the inning. After that they gave
her their stat card and invited her to do it.
And so it went. We were privileged to leaf through pages of
the family scrap book. When you immerse yourself in the power of another family’s
memories, you begin to turn your own family album pages in your mind. My mind
continued to turn those pages.
A wedding is full of family album photo opportunities. The
photographer is busy capturing these memories. There are those, however, that
cannot be in the pictures.
His father had died young. I knew one of the memories he
carried forward was following baseball with his dad. I imagine them playing
catch. He shared his gratitude for the years they had together and ended by
saying…lucky us.
He spoke of his wife’s mother. She had died, far too young, of
cancer. He shared his gratitude for the years they had together. Lucky us.
My lips began to form the words - like a collective amen -
lucky us.
He mentioned a brother
who was too ill to travel. Those of us who knew the backstory knew the
sadness of this moment. Again, he shared his gratitude for the years they had together.
These words were harder to say...but finally, lucky us.
The attendees have sent cards and gifts to celebrate the
marriage. The bride and the groom are dressed in high fashion. At our tables we
are well fed. What can be added? The father of the bride gives the ultimate
wedding gift, a grateful heart.
"Lucky us" is not merely a description of the world we live in. It is an aspiration. "Lucky us" is a fundamental
Jewish value. We start each day with morning prayers of gratitude for the gift
of breath, for our bodies and for this world. We do this ritual to remind us to
lift up our heads and look at our blessings, not just our disappointments; our
opportunities, not just our challenges.
The father was probably too busy to notice that the week’s
parsha was the story of the biblical scouts. They were charged to survey the
land and to report if it was a land that would provide a blessed future for the
people. They came back and focused on all the obstacles- not the blessings.
Because of their lack of hope, faith and gratitude that whole generation had to
wander for 40 years. They would not be able to come into the promised land.
The father of the bride knows that there are things to fear.
Life can be precarious. Read the news! He gives the new couple a great gift - a
grateful and hopeful spirit. He gives them a sense of a blessed future.
The wedding guests traveled to celebrate a simcha and we left
with a wonderful lesson:
lucky us.
